My guest today on digital podcaster is Tony Berardo. Tony Barardo is a podcast coach. He's also a UGC. content creator, and he makes a lot of content. You've probably seen it on social media before. Makes great videos. And what we talk about in this episode is a little bit different than what I have covered in past episodes. So what I originally plan to talk with Tony about on the podcast was UGC Content, which stands for user generated content, which is basically in Tony's case where he'll get paid to make content for brands. and he has also multiple companies as well. But Tony has a one month old baby girl And I thought it would be way better to just keep the conversation going in that direction because that seemed to be what needed to kinda come up I wanted to give you that little backstory on Tony and also kind of frame our conversation because we haven't really talked in a minute about more just like personal mindset stuff here on digital podcaster. And, that's what Tony and I dive into primarily this episode will be helpful for new fathers or expecting fathers because that's a lot of what the conversation is about. If any of those subjects interest you. Honestly, if you're like, I have no desire to hear about kids. maybe skip this episode. Go to the next one. But if the idea of kids and balancing, you know, a baby and all of the stuff that goes into that and relationship wise and partner wise, and running a business and making content, things like that is of interest from you. You'll find a lot of gyms in this episode. Please enjoy my conversation with Tony Berardo. This is the show for digital creators by digital creators. Hosted by me, Dylan Schmidt, a Los Angeles based content creator who loves to blend marketing, creativity, and business. Join in as we explore online entrepreneurship, creator best practices, and more. Each week, I'll bring you interviews with successful creators tips and tricks for growing your online presence, and simple insights into the latest trends and strategies I'm seeing and using in the space. Welcome to digital podcaster. Let's hop right in. Tony -- Cool. -- to digital podcaster. What's up, man? Thanks for having me, Dylan. Dude, I got questions, galore, for you. but first, congratulations to you and your wife. Thank you. Thank you. You're talking about the kid. Right? Don't get it. No. Yeah. I am totally talking about it. Yeah. Oh, thanks. Yes. yes. Sorry. As a as a, as a as a new dad too. I'm like, it's spaced out a little bit. but you seem right on your game. how are you doing? And how's your wife doing and you're a busy man? So, like, how's it how's it going? How's how's the transition transitioning? Thanks, man. I appreciate that. Yes. It's, as you know, I mean, the first so she's a month old tomorrow, actually. The 1st couple weeks is dude, it was tough. I mean, it's still pretty tough, but it's it was tough to figure out the transitional phase of, like, is she crying because she's upset and, like, she's seeing all these new things and she's not stuck in the womb. Or is it crying because, you know, she needs to change her diaper or she has hiccups or she's gassy? Like, there's just so many thing. Or is she sleepy. That's the worst because, you know, they're it's the only thing that I can remember that cries when it's tired. Right? because, like -- Yeah. -- us as adults when we're tired, we just go to sleep. Yeah. So she -- I just try internally. like, which is which is what I'm doing now as a new father. but, yeah, it's a that was tough. That was tough. And, you know, we're trying to get on the schedule. Thankfully, you know, I work for myself with the couple of businesses that I have. So I'm able to I was able to take some time off. So I took off the 1st 3 weeks. I did some little things here and there, some consulting and stuff, but nothing crazy. and then my wife is on, maternity leave, so that's great. So it was it was cool to figure out the schedule and, now we're in shifts. We were in separate rooms doing shifts. this week, we started doing in the bedroom still shifts, which is kind of a challenge because we're also, like, in this weird phase of She'll my wife will take the 1st shift. But then every time my daughter, Camilla, every time she gets changed, she freaks out like bloody murder. And then, of course, she changed her and she's fine. So, like, me, I'm just trying to sleep in the bed, and my wife is changing her. And it's, like, that 30 seconds of, like, you know, is my wife twisting my daughter's arm? Like, that's what it sounds like. She screams so loud. And then I wake up real quick, and then I try to go back sleep. And I'm I'm such a, like, a whack when it comes to sleep that I sleep really good right away. But then if I get up during the, you know, if it's 3 AM and I just spring up, immediately, I'm like, I just need to work now. Like, I can't reset for some reason. So that to me is the challenge, but my wife, she's sleeping like a baby. She's She's great. So -- So you didn't that's probably, like, probably most important, I guess. Right? You know, like, I know they say UGC cliche happy wife, happy life, but, like, the reality is, especially after something like this physically traumatizing is giving birth, you know, it's like to be able to sleep. It's like, hell yeah. Oh, for sure. I was doing everything I could to to try to make sure she gets enough sleep because, you know, also too, the last thing you want is, you know, want the wife or your partner. especially a woman who's had to deal with labor. You don't want her to deal with being upset because then that goes on the the kid, but it also goes on the spouse too. So it's like, then you got, like, 2 upset people. And then you also got the baby screaming and you got the wife screaming. It's like, gotta make one of those happy. So -- Yeah. 2 verse 1. Yeah. yeah, I'm the same as you with the, sleep too. If it's like, I'm up at 3 AM, I'm like, Let alone if I happen to look at my phone and start seeing like, oh, there's stuff going on. There's new or there's something interesting. You know, we start going down a rabbit hole. The next thing you know, it's like, well, it's, you know, whatever, a clock. Yeah. Might as well get going. Might as well get going. And, and isn't it interesting too? Like, you know, we're so used to as -- adults or at such, you know, a young age. We just use our voice to communicate, and now you have this thing that can't communicate other than, like, a couple different patterns. You know, you can pick up on UGC couple of them, but still picking up on them is so hard and there's such a learning curve of, like, what does this mean? Yeah. You know, like, my daughter is eight months old now and still, it's like, my wife's better at recognizing the the certain type of sounds better than I am at the moment, but I can, you know, but, like, you just go through, like and it's funny because there's really not that many things. Like, you know, like, you said, like, once eat, Once the the diaper changed needs to sleep, is awake, but, like, they sleep so much too. You know? Right. It's not like they're crying about, like, you know, they gotta pay their taxes. You know what I mean? Like, they're just not, you know, they don't really care about anything except those 3 things, which, I mean, what a what a great life they must be. Yeah. And it's, like, so awesome to be able to care for and give those things, but at the same time, it's, like, it's like, oh, you wanna sleep again? Or oh, wait. I just changed your diaper. We didn't change your diaper again. it's so small. It's a friend. Literally just before I came up here. I grabbed, some coffee from me and the wife because I have to have 5 cups a day now. And, I I my wife is pumping. Thank goodness she's able to, to nurse. So she's pumping. She's the only thing. So I grabbed Camilla, and I changed her. She had a poopy diaper, changed her, and then set her down, you know, burped her a little bit, kinda kinda getting her ready to to feed. And the next thing you know, she searched screaming like crazy. And normally I could bring outside and she can calm down. She loves outside. So I'll bring her outside for a bit, and she'll just kind of, like, fall asleep a little bit. And I'm like, no. No way she's still crazy right now. Let me check her even though I just changed her. Sure shit. Now she peed. And she's in this habit now this week in particular where we'll change her diaper. She'll have a dirty diaper or a wet diaper. And 1 of the 2 will change her literally 2 minutes later. It's like she waits for a clean diaper and then makes another mess. And I'm like, is she testing us? Is this? She's like, doing it on purpose. Well, you know, it's it's so it's so funny because I think it's just the comfortability of, like, you know, once you get in that clean diaper, Like, I'm imagining myself in a diaper. I don't remember what it was like, but I imagine, like, a dirty diaper doesn't feel good. Yeah. If I can't. It can't feel good. Yeah. And, yeah, and then sometimes, like, them not even recognizing that it is dirty too. Sometimes it's like you checking out, what you know, well, there's a whole lot of stuff going on in there. like, where did that come from? because you were just chilling. so weird. And it's it happens so so, like, instantaneously too. Like, it's the second it comes out because it's also, you know, it's it's probably just a strange feeling, I would imagine. Like, Yeah. You know? For us, it's just so normal to to do those exits of liquids and and and matter. But, yeah, for them, it's just something new. And are you are you finding, like, now that you're 8 months in, have things gotten easier, I mean, progressively easier, or is it about the same? Or -- Definitely. It's definitely changed. And, yeah, it's definitely changed. It doesn't say it's easier. No. Definitely not easier because, like, the less sleep, like, I didn't realize how much importance was around, you know, I thought like, oh, parents don't sleep, but really so much of the importance around, like, the baby sleeping. And so, you know, the less sleep and how much babies sleep? How much yeah. How much they sleep when they're like, first born. Right. And then so needing, like, less sleep while our daughter is, like, absolutely an amazing sleeper still, like, that's decreasing throughout the day. So just managing that. But for me, it's not so much like managing It's not like it's it's like changing the sense it's like, because you can start to do just a little bit more and a little bit more. The desire to, like, like, to me, it's, like, more of the emotional and, like, things around like, oh, I wanna, like, enjoy absolutely every second. But there's only so much you can enjoy. You know? And then at the same time, it's like the dual feelings of like, okay, I am absolutely exhausted from paying attention to this, and holding her up because she can't quite, you know, do stuff on her own. and I'm exhausted, like, holding her up and just, like, giving the attention, like, the amount of presence, continually for a sustained period of time. mixed with, like, when she's asleep, it's like, oh, let's look at pictures of her. And, like, let's we miss her so much, but also being like, alright. But go to You know? Right. Exactly. Yeah. Those two things are funny. do you find it by similar, like, oh, we gotta look at pictures over here. Like, Oh, for sure. because, you know, I'm a nut when it comes to content. So, like, you know, my phone's loaded. And then the second I feel like it's too much, then I transfer it to my Dropbox and then I delete everything on my phone so that way I never run out of storage. So I'm like a whack when it comes to this. So my wife is always like, let me see your phone because I always capture a bunch of stuff. And even if you look at her story, she's the worst because her stories, if it's, let's say there's 10 little dots, they're all me. Like, she just reshares my story because she doesn't post her own stuff. So we we do find ourselves doing that, but then, like you said, we catch you know, we catch yourself real quick saying, or should we be sleeping? You know, it's also just one of those hard things where it's 2 PM and you're like, You know, I don't wanna sleep right now because sometimes you get caught in that thing where you nap for an hour and then you wake up and you're even way more exhausted. So sometimes for us, it's it's good to just power through the day and then, you

30. And then -- Yeah. -- and then our, you know, our shift, my my shift starts at 3 AM, and then I wake up and and take the rest of the day, and my wife sleeps till 9 AM. Yeah. But it it is funny, like, as you're talking through it about being exhausted. And I I realized there was a difference between, like, not getting slave because we've talked about this to where if we get up, it'll just work. And I don't feel tired than at 3 AM. Like, I'm ready to go. Usually. Yeah. With with this newborn, I'm realizing that when I wake up at 3 AM and, like, in the back of my skull, I hear like an echo of her crying, you know, like that screech is embedded in my brain. That sleep deprivation that you feel when you wake up at 3 AM to deal with that is like a different level. It's you're getting the same hours of sleep. Yeah. Right? It which isn't a lot. Let's say you're getting 5 hours of sleep. Before a kid, 5 hours of sleep, I could conquer the day. I could do 5 podcasts. I can work out. I could go for a run. Getting 5 hours of sleep with a newborn is like, I didn't get any sleep. I'm so pointless. I'm walking around like a zombie. I'm pouring, like, my coffee into my YETI cup, and then I'm putting, like, you know, gatorade in the YETI cup after that. Like, I'm just so fucked up all day. It's just it's a different level. It's so fascinating how your your brain reacts to that type of stuff. Yeah. And, like, I like to think of it, like, especially for the first one. You know, like, they say, like, oh, after the first one, it gets easier, whatever. but The first one, especially it's like you're so we're so used to, doing things a certain way. and you re I feel like I've realized how is self reliant. You know, you think, oh, being in a relationship with your partner and you, you know, you've got all these, responsibilities and roles and things like that. And then it turns into the shared responsibility of a baby. So then it's like way different. You know, it's because it's like, you're like, wow. I had a lot of freedom before. You know, being in relationship is not any lack of freedom if compared to being in relationship with a baby. So true. And so, like, like, wanting to have things how they were, but also finding a balance of how they are now, you know, and like, dealing with, to me, that's, like, fascinating to deal with that transition of, like, obviously, we can't go back to how things work. You know? And a lot of parents -- mess things up, you know, when they, like, go way too far on the extremes that I see on the news where, like, they're like, oh, we left. And they had, like, a a monitor at home while the baby was but, you know, a couple was arrested in, like, New York or something, a little bit UGC. Wouldn't they were just like, outgoing to a dinner while their, like, kids were on a monitor or something. Insane. Yeah. And so, obviously, that's, like, an extreme, but You know, it's like they're trying to, like, find how things work. And it's like, things just aren't that way anymore, but they're still good and great. Right. And then finding that balance, you know, do you find yourself kinda going through a similar thing where you're like, alright. How does this fit? How do we fit everything together? Oh, dude. For sure. In fact, you know, I, I I even had this conversation with my wife the other day because I did my last podcast was about, like, you know, being a father and it was just kinda solo micro cast that I did. And, the one thing I'm realizing that we need to get better at that we realized the 1st week is that our lives are not gonna be, like you said, the same, but we also shouldn't revolve our life around our daughter. she should just be in our lives. And when we kind of realized that, because, of course, the 1st couple weeks are a challenge. But, like, you know, we told ourselves, Well, we're we're not gonna go out. We're not gonna have people over. We're not gonna do this. We're not gonna and we're like, hold on. And we had to catch ourselves. We're like, why? We just need to go out and she's just a part of our life. And I hate to compare this, but a lot of people could relate. It's like having a pet. you know, you you don't stop going to coffee shops. You go to coffee shops that allow pets. And that's kind of how we started thinking about things like week 2 once, like, we started, you know, being calm to each other because the 1st week is a challenge of it. then once we figured out it, I'll see it. Yeah. It's like you take her. No. You take her. Like, we're just arguing. I took her. Alright. I remember, because you got more sleep than me. You got 30 minutes more Exactly. Like, you're, like, have a chart comparing each other's, like, oh, to do this. but then once we realize, like, you know, this is just such a, like, work We have such a great great relationship. We had a great relationship, and we still do have a great relationship. But now our relationship is even better because we're adding just something to it. I think a lot of people, unless you're irresponsible, I wouldn't say this to irresponsible folks, But if you're pretty responsible and you can handle mortgage and you can handle saving money and, you know, doing adult things like paying taxes and stuff. you can handle that, I think you can handle a kit because a kit is a lot of work. It's a lot of money, but it's just another thing. and I think a lot of times we get caught up in, like, overanalyzing what kid is because it is a big deal. I mean, you're raising a human. I'm not downplaying it. I'm just saying that if you're mature enough to handle certain adult things, It's just an adjustment. It's not really like this crazy nuclear bomb that goes off in your life. Like, everyone thinks that, like, you still hang out with friends, But if your friends have kids, you're more likely to hang out with them. It's not this thing where you don't have friends anymore, and you can't have a drink anymore. It's just not the case. you know, so we we realized that early on to where we have to have a conscious effort to involve her in our life. not have her revolve around everything because that's that's where I think people start, like, marriages in particular, people resent each other. because maybe, like, I couldn't work out because I'm I'm big in the health. So, like, if my wife says I can't work out because I have to take care of her daughter, there's gonna be a resentment there. So we just figured out a schedule that makes sense for both of us that I can do my thing. She could do her thing and of course, we take care of her daughter. So sometimes I bring my daughter in my gym, and I'll just have her in the stroller and, you know, she'll wash me work out. She probably doesn't have to get any clue what I'm doing, but she's watching me. And, you know, I I I do what I have to do to maintain my sanity in my life. And I think that's the key to to paranoid in my opinion. And and I I totally get that. And one thing I thought of when, especially earlier on not so much at, like, now just 8 months, but I think, like, the 1st 6 months probably, I was like, I get it. I get why father, like, just go stereotypes or generalizations for a second, but I get why dad's just, like, book it and take off. Like, I totally get it. Not that I have any desire, of course, that's never in a 1000000 years. But, like, I get it because they're like, it's a lot, you know, and they can't handle or they're just like, I need some relief, whatever the reasons are. There's a bunch of reasons, but I get it. And -- And I can empathize in in a in a way with, like, why they're just like, I would whatever I gotta do to make this easier because I don't even want to have this life. You know? Yeah. Yeah. And And I'm like, I mean, but at the same time, I would never do that because also I'm like, that's like the weakest way out too. You know, and that's -- For sure. -- not at all. You know, and I know that you're, the same way too. Like, we're super similar in that way is, like, we're not going to fall to, like, the challenges will rise to the challenges. And, you know, so many men can't, you know, they just, like, take off and they want a more relaxed situation. You know? Yeah. And the funny thing is it's like you can't escape it. What are you gonna need to go start the cycle over with another girlfriend in another state. Yeah. What the-- And -- You know? And and and as men were so, you know, we're just horn balls. So we don't think to ourselves, well, we don't have to deal with that if we just don't have sex or if we use protection. But then The guys out there are like Protection sucks. She doesn't feel that way. Uh-uh. And we're always making excuses to, like, have unprotected sex. And then when that happens, we're like, fuck this. We're where I'm at. I'm out. I don't wanna deal with this. And it's just so funny how when we're stuck with that, it's It is kind of eye opening. I could imagine, to your point, I could totally see it. I definitely had that thought, like, the 1st week because And this is horrible to say, you can cut this out if you want. But I realized the 1st week, and I didn't do this, and I never would. Well, I don't wanna say, I I never would. For sure. I'm gonna put that on the record. But I'm just saying that I kinda get why people shake their baby sometimes? Oh, yeah. Totally. I can't understand. Like, you should you should never do it. It's definitely not But I'm telling you when you and you know, but you're listening out there and you thought that you are not capable of doing something like that. I'm telling you, you are. Because that that 1st week, there was a couple moments in there where I'm like, babe, you need to take her for a second. Yeah. And I and I just went in the garage and I just went because, you know, you're not on any sleep, but this was, like, when we got back from the hospital, as you know, We were there for 3 days. We didn't get any sleep at the hospital because they purposely don't want you to get sleep for some reason. And then at least -- -- know or something. Yeah. Literally. Like -- Except then they can come in every hour. Yeah. Except the casino, you get free booze and you get oxygen pumped through the AC events. The hospital, they don't give any of that. So probably cost about the same by the end of it, though. It depends. That's right. Depending on if you're on the table or Yeah. So but it's it's fascinating when, you know, we got back and it was just that 1st week trying to feel with everything. And then I was like, I could kind of say, like, I get it. So I also think that's why it's really important that if you are gonna make that decision going back to, like, being an irresponsible dad and leaving, if you are gonna have sex and you know that there's a a 1% chance that you might get a woman pregnant. Like, if you can't handle your booze, don't drink and have sex. Like, because then you're gonna forget to wear a condom and all this. So if you think there's a one person chance that you might, then you need to understand that that person needs to be the person you're gonna be with because you need a solid partner because I I did realize that where our relationship is tested. It's almost like You ever try to build IKEA Furniture with your partner? Yeah. Dude, that'll test it. That'll test it. -- done it with my partner. because I'm just like, let's just do this alone. Unless I needed to, like, flip something over, but I Smart. I mean, not that much into pain, like, that level of fan, I should say. It's a lot of yeah. Totally. Yeah. And the partner is absolutely everything. Right? Like -- Yeah. -- if you it's gonna test every area. And if there's any weaknesses, it will exploit them in every area. And it is not for Yeah. The light hearted. And, really, I'm like, it's also made it extremely evident to me. I'm like, I don't understand how, you know, Let's just say, again, there's, like, generalizations, but, like, eighteen years old or something would be so hard to have a kid. At 25, I was a mess. I couldn't imagine at 25. Like, I'm I'm 30. No. No. I'm I'm sorry. Yeah. Yeah. I'm 38 now. Yeah. Speak weight. You're 25. I'm sick. Wait a minute. I know I look young, but not that young, but I didn't think you were 25. I'm like, wait a minute. But, dude, like, at at 25, I was a mess. You know, like, I, I was still dating and, you know, still having fun and doing all that. So it's just I couldn't imagine, like, a 25. So I had a loan 18. Yeah. It's -- Yeah. That's right. And even, like and it's funny too because, like, Age is also one of those things too. It's like there's no real, you know, you can wait. but it's so different for everybody and where they're at in life and whatnot. And and to then match up two people on, you know, both partners, like, to be at the same. It's like, it's just also one of those things is like, it just happened and you figured it out. which people, you know, told us before. I was like, alright. Well, let's just let's just trust them. but, yeah, it is, And and and I'm glad you brought up the the, like, just losing in this, like, I get how people shake, babies. And, of course, like, not saying both, you know, not saying that's right at all, but I think there's something huge about that, which is something I also have thought about a lot is normalizing and destigmatizing a lot of of just like the mental health parts around it. in this, like, age of wanting to do things perfect because we have access to more information thinking like, well, because we know better, we should do better. Yeah. like, how much do we really know when we've got no sleep? We're absolutely exhausted. Our life is turned upside down. And, we're not earning, like, it's not It's not our normal selves. but despite of that, of course, making the right decision, but just those, like, thoughts and, like, just not making those thoughts, like, wrong or because I think one thing too, I just noticed over and over. And I think it's starting to decrease a little bit for me, but I think other dad's first time new dad that I've talked to you have experienced a lot of the same is, guilt and shame around, you know, because you can't do as much as the mother does. biologically, all these reasons. You know? And I noticed that, you know, the 1st 6 months or probably maybe after a year, like, let's see. But a lot of guilt and shame come up around, like, what can do and how we can help in all these things. And it -- Yeah. -- I noticed for me, like, pops up in weird ways, like, you know, I'll I I wanna be doing more. I wanna be doing more. You know? but I think it kinda goes back to that perfection thing. Have you noticed any of that for yourself yet? I say yet, but, like -- Yeah. Yeah. Now, dude, I I have, especially, you know, as in, you know, since I'm working for myself as you as well, Or at the moment, realizing that I need to make sure I'm more conscious of, like, the amount of time I spend working versus, being with my daughter and my wife. You know, I think that's important too is, you know, having that support the 1st few months, and giving that support to your spouse especially the wife, like we've talked about, where they deal with a lot, they the one thing the guy can do, and I had this conversation with my buddy who was also a father, a new father, And we're like, do you ever feel bad? Like, we couldn't, like, we couldn't give birth. And, you know, are we doing enough for the wife And I think the answer is no. You're not. Because what we supply is similar to what they supply in terms of not the physical act of labor, but and I've talked about this on social, the act of us helping them get through labor. And I helped, you know, my wife, I don't know if you were able to as well, at the hospital, contractions, you know, rubbing her back, being there for her, talking, you know, to her and calming her down. And, you know, that again is just like we can't have a baby without our wives, they can't really give birth without us. So I think, by the way, they're not even close in terms of the work. But I I it I I think Ying and Yang, it's it's important during that process, but also, you know, when the baby gets home. So, like, if my wife, she never never tells me that she need to break, because she wants to be with her daughter as much as she can, which I get. So occasionally, I have to kind of get really good at reading her, which I have over the years. And I look at her and I go, you need a break? And she's like, No. It's fine. No. I don't know. I go, babe. I got it. Go relax. It's okay. Let me make you a tea. Chila. I got you. So I think they're the wives need that. Just like we need them to give birth, they need us to be with them for the next, you know, infinity years. And that's the key to a a good marriage. And I think this also doesn't get talked about a lot, but, guys, there is a lot of physical and mental stress that we endure you know, these next 18 years or whatever when you do have this child in your life because The wives, I think there is maybe resentment, and I can't speak of her every woman, but maybe there's a little resentment like I gave birth to this kid. Do what I say. there's that, but there's also, like, the guy that's like, I work a shit 10 hours. You know, I work hard for the money. Don't spend my money at Target. So there's also that. Right? So there's there's this constant struggle in battle. And if you could figure out not to push each other's buttons, find that median of, like, looking at each other when you're about to pop, identifying it, being honest, and saying, hey. Relax. Let's take a breather. Let's let's separate rooms, do what we gotta do to to come back to earth. I think that's how you can kind of control their relationship. So it doesn't spiral out of control because that's, I think, a big reason why people get divorced is resentment, whether you have kids or not, It's just that resentment. When you're telling one person they can't do something or when it gets too hard for one person and they don't communicate it, That's where the issues come into play. So we we've been really working on that these last few weeks, and I I don't wanna say we've mastered it because I don't think we ever will. but we're gonna constantly work at that. And I think, you know, that's a good step. Totally. Yeah. I agree. That communication, I Yeah. I remember. I think it was, like, a month in or something or maybe it was a couple of weeks. I don't remember exactly when, but I remember at some point, I was like, it felt It felt like, because my wife and I just care so much. And it felt like, like, taboo to, like, say anything bad, you know, because we have this beautiful daughter that we're so over the moon with. And it felt like, oh, you know, we don't wanna say anything bad. Because, but at a certain point, I was just like, like, this sucks. Like, something about I forget what it was, but, like, something I was just like, I just gotta call it out. And I was like, and I'm not saying, I was she sucks separating the 2. She's absolutely incredible. We're like, oh, perfect. And, but just like also just communicating, like, It sucks. Not sleeping. It sucks this and that. And doesn't mean like it's the partner's fault. Doesn't mean, it's anyone's fault really. Just the situation just sucks. And acknowledging that it sucks, started to make it suck less because then it wasn't like we were trying to like hold this thing of like, no, we should be this or we should we should just acknowledge the truth, and the truth is this freaking sucks right now. you know, and it doesn't suck all the time every day, every second or anything. It was just like there were certain parts in that freedom to not have to, like, get things, you know, just to be able to fully express, like, when something sucks without, like, you know, just just being in misery and being like, oh, you know, it does, houses like a But, like, you know, just not being so attached to it, definitely helped. So and you work from home. So, we're, like, so similar in that way too. How in I just wanna recognize too because I'm also like talking back in a way thinking of, like, myself just earlier this year. When if I ask you something, it doesn't, you know, especially it doesn't mean that it can't change or look different or things like that. It's kind of more just like how you're thinking about it now because I know for myself, like, usually, like, if someone was asking me something, I have a pretty good idea around, like, how I'm seeing things and what they'll look like and all those things. Like, there has to be just an acknowledgement of, like, if things are constantly changing and evolving and you're finding figuring out, like, new ways and you wanna do things and what works best for you. And so, like, I just ask I say that because as I, like, talk with you, it's not like, You know, it's there's it's an evolving process, not like, you know, in the same it is for me. Like, I I if someone was asking me, you know, on one hand, I wanna, like, say, like, This is what I'm doing and this is how it works and great and whatnot. But, like, the reality is it's like it's gonna change, like, whether it's next week, later today in a month or whatever. It might look totally different. so how are you kind of dealing with, the work from home situation? Cause I know for me, it was like, I'm like, this is this is taking another level of focus I've never had to extract before. Yeah. Yeah. I definitely, I didn't think it was gonna be as hard as what it is. You know, I thought, because I've always worked a corporate job for I don't know, up until maybe, like, 4 years UGC, and then I started working for myself. But, I've always worked for a corporate job. I and in hindsight, I think it might be more of a challenge working at a corporate job. However, there's this also level of difficulty that's added onto the cake you don't think about when you work for yourself and have a child is the fact that when you work for a corporate job and leave 9 to 5, not dealing with anything except to work. So when you're working from home, you're trying to do calls or podcasts or emails or for in in our case, we're creating content. So my my studio is pretty much soundproof. But that baby cry, man, that goes through fucking zip codes. Okay? It is. Yeah. Madness. So there's sometimes where I have to pause and not create content. until she takes a nap, and then the nap is not that long. So there's that, like, level of added difficulty that I didn't expect as well as, like, the sleep deprivation, which we've talked about. which is has been a big factor. And I feel like you wouldn't necessarily have that at a corporate job if you just walked in and, you know, clocked in and clocked out, not saying that corporate jobs aren't hard. I'm just saying there's there's some stability there. Like, I'm sure a lot of people could relate with this. Most of my friends actually, if right, 80% of my friends could relate. to where you clock in and clock out, you're probably hungover, you're probably going on a couple hours of sleep, don't give a shit about your job, and you still get paid the same amount no matter what. And unless your boss is micromanaging you, you can probably get away with making your 50, 60, 70,000 a year job. When you work for yourself and you have these hurdles that we're talking about with having a newborn working from home, literally your money that day or that week dictates what you do. So there's this level of pressure added But there's also this level of, like, I wanna take care of my wife, make sure she could sleep, and and there's also a level pressure of, like, I wanna spend time with my daughter. because she's grown up so quick already, and it's only been a month. So there's these different layers that I didn't think about. I thought it was gonna be like, I'm just gonna create content and she'll be on my fucking arm, and then it'll be fun. And she'll be my co host to my podcast. No. It's it's become more and more difficult as the days go on because I'm realizing that instead of making $90 this year, I think I need to make 70 and be able to spend more time with my daughter. So that's kind of like where my head's at now where I need to change my mindset of, like, getting rid of this hustle mentality. that I've had for years. And you still wanna have that, of course, especially working for yourself, but then there's also this thing where these these moments are so crucial. And, like, my father worked as ass off. and worked 3 jobs when I was a kid. And then, you know, he ended up as I was getting older, like, in my five and six years old. He was able to hang out with me more at home and stuff. because I have, like, really cool videos of, like, him videotaping me, babysitting me and stuff. Not babysitting, but, you know, he's he's with me. The few moments that he doesn't work these three jobs, And that is so crucial, but talking to him and realizing that he did work so much. And, you know, I don't know how many hours he spent in total with me, but I bet he's rewriting it. and I wouldn't be where I'm at if he didn't work as asphalt, but I also know that if I just be a little more frugal, live below my means a little bit more, don't want the coolest shit all the time, I'd rather spend more time with her and then just kind of cut back my standards a little bit. And then when she's maybe old enough and we figure out a good plan, maybe I kind of, you know, put in 6 gear a little bit and go Berardo. But for now, I need to relax, and I need to take a pay cut. And I just need to know that everything's gonna be okay. As long as I keep working, I can't put that stress on myself because you put that stress on yourself and it oozes to the wife. It oozes to the kid, and it affects a lot more than just money at that point. So -- Yeah. This is where we as business owners and men gotta be a little bit more responsible, I think. Yeah. Totally agree. And it seems like a couple things come to mind. Like, one, it's hard to to plan for, like, for myself. I'm like, I don't understand why I would need to take a lot of time off work because what is 3 months off gonna do for me if I work from home and I can make my own schedule? You know, like, I didn't understand that. And then at the same time, I'm like, I don't even know what I would do at the time because I can't even rest when she's sleeping because I'm like, I need to do something? Do I need to sleep? Do I need to work out? Do I need to, like, do fix something? I don't know what to do with myself or just need to, like, sit and meditate or something, but Right. Just trying to figure out, like, a sense of self. I did hear a quote that I think about opting from, a I think it was like a psychologist or something. I've heard it a couple different places, but basically, it was like, if you mess up the first I forget if it's 3 or 5, I'll just say 5. But if you mess up, like, the 1st 5 years, then you'll spend, like, the rest of the years trying to fix them. And I think that's super true. And I think it's like, okay. If I not that I'm gonna relax after 5 because I think it'll be such a anyways that I'm present and all that. But, like, I really wanna put an emphasis on the 1st 5 years of being so present and and, like, doing the things you said where it's, like, prioritizing, presence over trying to, like, you know, make money for presents. and because it's like there's no, you know, there's no to there's so many toys And, like, all this stuff is just there's so much stuff regardless. And, you know, the last thing, you know, that's that's never gonna replace, you know, just the the the memories and and catching these little things that you don't get, especially for us, we're planning on just one. So It says, like, yeah. This is yeah. It's like, let's dive in. Yeah. And and, you know, you also get a, I don't know. Have you ever been to, like, We have a lot of them in Florida, but have you ever been to, like, a landfill, like a dump? Mhmm. So if people haven't, you should check it out. because we have one just a few miles away. And there's one side that's, like, a hill because, you know, that's what they do. They cover with soil and irrigation, and then they make it into, like, the stinky hill, especially in Florida everywhere. when you see a landfill in person with all the shit that's in a landfill, depending on your perspective on life, which I I've made this, you know, realization years UGC, but it's it's very fitting to what we're talking about because you realize that when you look in your addict or you look in a landfill, you look at everything that we throw away in time, you know, just like talk about our business in particular, a content perspective. So I have a bunch of pod mics from road. The mics that I had before, audio technicas and, you know, some of the older mics that I had I either sold those or I threw them away because I couldn't couldn't get sold. So at but at the time, I needed it. But you don't. Because every everything I forget who it is. I think it was Jerry Seinfeld that said everything ends up in the garbage. Everything ends up in the garbage. Like, it is not a that's not a blank everything ends up in the garbage. Because when you buy something today, this black shirt that I'm wearing, this v neck, eventually it's gonna end up in garbage. It might change locations a few times. So it might, like, be in my dresser drawer because I wear it all the time. And then it moves to my closet, and then it moves to the back of the closet and the tote. and then the tote goes to the garage, and then the garage goes in the attic. And then after 5 years, I throw it away in the trash. But at the time, this shirt was like, I needed this. I needed to spend$10, $12. But when you realize that everything ends up in the garbage one day, Whether it's a year from now or 10 years from now, you start thinking, is this purchase really important? Doesn't matter that much. And the answer is no. The answer is always no. It doesn't matter that much. You might need it at the time. Sure. And unless it's food, you really don't have to buy something, but we kind of get stuck in this mode of, like, we need it. We need it. We need it. We wanna fill our lives with new and exciting things. some people fill those voids with materialistic stuff. Some people fill with kids, which isn't always the answer, but you know, at the same time, it's like when you start realizing that and then you start looking at your bank account and correlating the numbers and, like, Wait a minute. So if I just stop buying this shit, then I can have all this money, and I won't be so stressed out. Now I could spend more time with my family. And when, right, when we when we realize that we wanna start having, a child, which we've been trying for years, people could listen to my podcast if they wanna hear their boring story, but We went through, like, IVF and IUS, and it it took about almost two and a half years to get to where we're at. A lot of money. I mean, we're talking And I realized that we had to do this so I had to start saving and being free. Well, that's when I started kind of identifying these these factors. and these bad trends that we were getting involved in. So then once we cut back and realize that now, I'm kind of in this mode of, like, I've been doing it for so long because we wanna have this kid. where I'm like, I just I like doing it now. I don't I don't like to splurge anymore because it's just less stress. because when you want the new iPhone and you want the new this and the new that, it's like you work to buy those things. And that's crazy. now I'm, like, working because I wanna take my daughter like Italy when she's 2. You know? And people are like, she's not gonna enjoy it when she's Yeah. You're right. But I am. Yeah. I'm gonna enjoy it. My wife's gonna do that. The only reason we wanna bring her is because she's part of our life now. You know, it's not -- Yeah. We're not doing it for her. You know what I mean? Like, we'll go to Disney or the aquarium when she's able to understand images, but now it's you know, we we wanna save up and do those things. So it's like, do you wanna do those trips, and do you wanna experience life, or do you just wanna buy, you know, new things all the time. So -- Yeah. Like, what is what do you, yeah, what are you supposed to do? Like, oh, Sean, remember it. It's like, okay. But What are you supposed to do in the meantime by that line of thinking? Are we just gonna just sit and watch TV? Yeah. you know, like, what? We're gonna pause everything until she gets to his her needs. I recently moved in in right. I think I'm on the path of, like, read 66, which you know, it expands so far and it's been, like, decommissioned for so many years, but I have been, like, kind of flooring it a little bit and just probably an age thing, a kid thing, just a life thing, state of America at this point, but have been, like, really into, like, consumerism and just kind of like how things are and where things were because -- Yeah. Americans, especially have such a fixation on, like, the past. And Route 66 in particular, like, I drove down it a couple weeks UGC. just like I'm gonna go as far as I can go and in the time I had and just so depressing seeing, like, all these buildings that just artists basically kind of rotting because it's not, you know, parts of 66. It's just like a snapshot into how things were And looking at, like, what the American dream that, you know, that was kind of like not promised, but they were trying to build things up as. And then where things are now, you know, there's such an emphasis on, like, flashy and and buy this thing and, you know, have this thing. And and the reality is, like, now, like, life is Just as just the sense of normalcy, like, even just the white picket fans of just just the sense of balance is people would be so excited about that. Like, let alone, you know, like, so just to go, like, on a trip and all these little things, like finding the gratitude and just the little things versus like, you know, some huge thing. I don't know if that makes sense. Well, And, you know, the American dream you say that because I I even, I was shooting the shit with my buddy who's who's from Italy, but he lives in America now. He was on my podcast. a few episodes ago. And, he was talking a lot about the American dream. And he's remember, he's from Italy. He just moved here, like, 5 years UGC. And I go, I get what you're saying, but would it be an American dream if people didn't talk about it? You know, like so so think about it. So we're told it's the American dream. Why? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Like, where did they come from? Yeah. because they told us it was the American dream. No. No. That was a way for us Americans to bring people over so that they could pay taxes and so they could work for us and that we can grow and be the best country in the world. The American dream is whatever you want it to be. You know, the the the American dream that we think it is if you ask people that are in their seventies now, if they their American dream. The answer is probably gonna be no. Because at the time, it was one thing, and now it's another. You know, like my buddy who my buddy who is from Italy, he now he's a TikTok star. Like, he's got a half a million followers. He's making money off TikTok. He's making, like, $4 a month off TikTok. That's 6 figures. He's making off TikTok. He lives in America. He couldn't do that in Italy. So his job to open up like a brick and mortar VHS shop and, you know, get $30 a year and buy a house, white picket fence, and all that, that's not the American dream anymore. So it makes you think what is the American dream? because it's not that anymore. So what the American dream changes constantly? But America didn't, like, relocate. What do you mean? Well, it's whatever we decided to be as Americans. So that to me is the fascinating part. Like, if your American dream is, you become a content creator, you open up maybe your own business, you make a lot of money, you save money, and then you move to Europe, That's not a bad American dream because you wouldn't be able to do that in, you know, New Guinea. Right? So there there's certain levels. You just gotta figure you wanna do. And I don't think there's a right or wrong answer. America gives us a lot of opportunity, but it's just so funny how we we always put this idea of what the American dream is. But nowadays, I don't know if America's the best place to be because you could do a lot of the stuff Like, what you and I do, I can't speak for your business as a whole, but I know you're doing well. But I think you could do that in Australia. or 100%. Right. Yeah. And -- It's always single. I probably would be all over the world too. I'd be like -- Same. -- whereas, you know, I don't even know what I am. I'm just somewhere. You know? What what what I look, and I don't want this to be like, you know, the next 5 minutes meet back in America, but it's funny because I talk a lot about it on my show. where you could do whatever we do now somewhere else, but I think you'll have more money because shit's not as expensive. Like, totally. For example, you would make more money working for yourself in Florida than you would in California. Why? Totally. Right? Taxes, like, price of living, like, just no brainer. So it's not far fetched to think that if you go over to Italy, and open up a business online or an ecommerce, you'll have more money and maybe a better quality of life too, right, because The views, the people, the food. I mean, Italy was just, I think, the 1st country that just banned artificial ingredients. and all their food. Like, you can't have any. No company can have food that has synthetic ingredients. It's a it's banned in Italy. It's UGC country ever doing. So I just go to show you, like, okay. So now I'm spending less money on food. I know it's better for me. I might live longer. So I don't know. Do I wanna open up a brick and mortar in New York City anymore? No. So it's like, what is the American dream? I don't know. It's it's it's interesting to think about. Oh, yeah. I love this too, and I had something I think a lot about it. Ugh. Easy. because I think it's, you know, so much is tied to identity, personal identity, but personal identity was such a thing. and I've been, Vance Packard, has wrote a few really good books in the fifties on this idea of, like, the consumerism and basically, like, how did this whole start? basically, like, you know, like, a lot of it's just to sell more stuff after World War 2, Right. You know, because personal identity wasn't people didn't have extra money to be spending on personal identity. Like, it was function. And, yeah, it was class and all these things, but Really, it was like, you know, this it served some type of purpose or some way of thinking, not like, I need to express my individuality because we're like, we're trying to, like, turn butter and, like, figure out a light bulb, you know, so after World War 2 people had more, you know, expendable income, And that's when, like, you started seeing because, you know, also think about cars, this is something I've been thinking about a lot lately -- Oh, yeah. -- and reading a lot about is cars where You didn't refer to, like, the car model as much. Yeah. They had the model t, but, like, if you look back at, like, cars, especially in the thirties, it was like, this is a 39 Ford. Right. Like Ford what? This is a 39 Ford. And then after World War 2, really in the fifties is when it started to, like, pop up in designs and it was like, cadillacs with the fins. And every year, they needed to make more money. So what did they do? They introduce new colors and new designs. And the new designs and colors were really only there to make the old ones look outdated, so people wanted the new ones. That's right. That is, you know, just a trap. And that kind of became part of the American dream. You know? Marketing 101. Yeah. Have a message and get out to as many people as you can, and that's That's what drives capitalism is, you know, the Jones effect is get giving giving you something that, you know, you can't have, but you're gonna work your ass off to do it. And that's That's the difference between our country and others to where, you know, I keep bringing up Italy only because it's fresh in my mind. But -- Yeah. -- when my buddy was over here, like, he, He flew over to back home to see his family in Italy. And the whole time he was there, he's, like, rebuilding Fiats. And he's, like, just messing around in the country. And, you know, he's hanging out with his grandmother picking vegetables and stuff. And people kept messing him like, hey. Do you miss things? Like, I love America, but There's just some specialness of, like, disconnecting and, you know, being in the land and using your hands to build things and create things and you know, that's something that we we maybe had, instinctually, but somewhere along the lines, maybe it was after World War 2 may you know, but there's something that happened to us where we would rather sit at home and be consumed with things coming to us versus us going out and experience life. And I think we forgot what life is all about a little bit. And then when we're talking about this, people are like, well, you know, but TikTok's so fun, and, the new iPhone is so great. And, you know, I I love this new restaurant and, Listen. If that's how you wanna consume let's say you wanna use your life, that's okay. Not wrong with that, but don't be don't get a twist. That's not what life's about. And I think when we full circle going back to having a kid, it kind of all changed because I looked at my screen time on my phone. Needs 1st few weeks. Dude, I'm barely on my phone. Like, oh, just for business, I post in ghost. You know, I just post something. I don't even look. But, I'm just every moment I'm staring at my daughter's eyes, and I don't think about comments. I don't think about the Kardashians. Nothing is going through my brain. -- except her. And -- Yeah. -- I don't wanna say having kids is what life's about, but I think finding a purpose that makes someone live, someone else's lives better could be the purpose of life. Like, if you just have a spouse, and you spend the rest of your lives making sure they're happy, I think that's beautiful. You don't need a kid. if you have a kid, I think if you devote you're you're all to that child and making them the best human they can be and, you know, give them a a better world than what you grew up on. I think that's beautiful. But there is a there is something involved there with the purpose of life of, like, giving yourself to something else. And I think if you can get away with that answer needs to be a device or a materialistic thing. That's not your purpose. You gotta get out of that. You gotta get out. Like you said, route 66. Go travel. Go go do something on your own. Like, if I was single man and I had the perspective I have now, like you said, I'd be doing some things. I definitely wanna be married with a kid right now because I probably would left in my twenties, and I don't know if I would have been back because there's so like, when you when you leave, man, you leave your, like, your home base, and you realize, like, you know, you go in a place with no wifi and shit. Things change, man. Like, I was up in North Carolina for my bachelor party, and Woo. It was just it was cool to get disconnected and you're hit sitting in a hot tub and you're looking at, like, a forest and you hear nothing but birds and There might be a bear in there that you heard. Like, it's just that's cool. It's wild, man. And you start thinking yourself, man, all that stuff on the device is not that important, but somewhere along the line, but we just, you know, I think we spend so much time on it. We lose track of it. And it's hard because it is fun on those devices, but you gotta break away every now and again. Yeah. Yeah. And we all like, are like, our phones are listening to us. And the reality is it's like the algorithms know us better than we know ourselves. You know? Like, we haven't caught up you know, people, like, it's like, we're like, oh, we're so great. It's like, you're great, at knowing yourself when you're off your phone, but to be on your phone and to say that you know yourself better. Like, I don't trust that statement about myself. You know, like, I don't trust that this algorithm can't predict what my future ideas will be faster than what I can. Only because of the complex systems it's running, and so it's like that break is everything. That disconnect and, like, you know, and I think for for us, it's like, oh, it's nice to have that reminder and that that perspective shift because, you know, it sometimes takes like a big thing to come along and not everyone has to have a kid, of course, to to have that, but whatever it is, it's like those things shift in a way that like. well, I'm just gonna, you know, journal. And that doesn't that might help, but, like, it's not gonna do the thing as, like, some major event, you know, whether it's the death of somebody, unfortunately, or health thing. You know, like, there's all these things that happen. but I know we're, like, a little bit over time too. And, so I wanna be respectful of that, I got I got all the time I got all the time in the world, bro. I know. Well, only so much too because we gotta get you right back to our conference. I'll get in trouble. I'll get in trouble. Yeah. And and, and and just for, like, full purposes, I actually wanted to talk to you about more UGC stuff, which we'll have to save for another episode in the future because, it was like there was what I wanted to talk about, but also leaving room for what we were gonna talk about. So we'll try again. We'll have to try again, to get around to that UGC stuff because you're experiencing that And I'm not, and I would love to to to hear your thoughts on it and and share those with, the audience Thank you, Tony. Where can people find you? yeah, where do where do you want people to connect with you at? Yeah. So, yeah, I mean, you could find anywhere, at the Berardo and Scramp TikTok, Twitter, all that jazz, or x, whatever. and then you have my podcast, the burrado podcast, where we talk about health, wellness, and social interaction. And, my wife and I own a company called Meet Q Box, which we just launched a couple of new products. So check that out. But, yeah, everything's on at the burrito, but thank you for having me on, brother. I appreciate you. See. Thank you. Thank you.